Despite having a table cloth sized garden I have designed it to encourage wildlife - what more would you expect from a Greenie? It has been successful despite visitors scoffing at the idea that I actually designed this jungle. Recently some would be burglars who jumped over the fence were rather surprised to land in the pond!
Recently though I feel rather like Percy the Park Keeper who was besieged by woodland creatures on one snowy night. A family of squirrels have decided that they like my place so much that they have moved into the loft. I have had to bang on the ceiling to quieten them down when they have made a rumpus at 3am in the morning.
The upshot is that despite all my commitment to social justice and animal rights I have decided to evict them. I would welcome any suggestions readers may have on how to do this humanely. I hasten to add that there is plenty of alternative accommodation available in nearby Fryent Country Park, although lacking my loft's luxury cushion of loft insulation.