Monday 1 April 2013

Ann John's cultural leadership to be immortalised (2nd edition)

Please note this was posted on April Fools' Day - apologies to anyone who suffered a heart attack or high blood pressure on first reading (that includes the fictitious Cllr Jimmy Ponderous!)

Artists's impression of the new cultural centre

In a surprise joint press release over the weekend Brent Council and Galliford Try have announced that the £10m cultural centre that will replace the Willesden Green Library, Willesden Bookshop, Library Centre Cinema, Cafe,  the Brent Museum, Brent Archives, Willesden Green Open Space and the Library Centre car park,  will be named after Cllr Ann John, OBE.

Cllr Jimmy Ponderous, (Newish Labour, Kensal Cemetery) who more modestly will have the suite of council offices named after him, said
Ann John, OBE came into office in 2010 with a vision to transform the cultural landscape of Brent. The closure of half the borough's library was the first step in a radical plan that will culminate this year in the rebuilding of the Willesden Green Library and the opening of the Wembley Library at the Civic Centre.

The Ann John Cultural Centre will be a fantastic addition to the cultural offer in Willesden and will include a Costas Coffee outlet and a Tesco Metro. Customers will be able to pick up their groceries along with their DVDs. The new Wembley Library will be a major attraction for football fans  and concert goers attending matches at Wembley Stadium or performances at the Arena.

These  twin beacons of hope and enterprise were only made possible by Ann's determination to fight the enemies of regeneration and promise who litter the cultural landscape of Brent with their special pleading, whining and outmoded attachment to old-fashioned 'cardboard and paper' books.


Anonymous said...

April Fool Right?

Samantha Warrington said...

A good April Fool always sounds so plausible. Unfortunately the devastation wrought on our communities, and the damage to the literacy and life chances our our young and older people by the deluded library closers - the enemies of equality and opportunity - are all too real.

Martin Francis said...

For the benefit of fellow Brent Labour 'Kremlinologists' and Brent Labour councillors, 'Cllr Jimmy Ponderous' is a figment of my imagination and bears no relation to any of our esteemed local councillors, living or dead. He was created today, April 1st, in order to illustrate a deep truth.

Phew! Is that good enough for Sue,Grabbit and Run?

Anonymous said...

Green Councillor to win Ward in Brent.....

April's Fool!!!

Martin Francis said...

Touché !

Anonymous said...

Anonymous II - unfortunately, for Willesden Green residents, the joke's on us till the next election. But we'll not suffer from amnesia at the ballot box.
Meanwhile in the civilised world:
Alex Colas

Martin R said...

Please note that you missed the vital part of the Press Release: 'In a shock last minute announcement Brent Council decided to register the Public Square behind the old library building as a Town Green. This will be retained in perpetuity as a community Open Space and be renamed as the Cllr George Crane Helipad Access Point'

Anonymous said...

Local schoolchildren were outraged when they attempted to use their free library passes only to find out their are no libraries to use them in . One angry schoolchild said nothing followed by a long period of silence when a librarian who is not allowed to speak said sshh. The fictitious Jimmy Ponderous sported a rictus grin whilst promising to add further demeaning fiction on his blog.